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» Just another thought. @ Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hey blog. I miss you. Sorry for not posting for months. I`ve been pretty busy lately because of shitloads of schoolworks and stuffs.. stuffs.. stuffs. And oh, before anything else, let me share you my life during the month of August. I`ve left a to-do list here on my previous blog. So let`s see.. ;)

□ Need to save money atleast 300 pesos.
□ Buy the August issue of Candymag.
□ Buy the pink id cord though I know it`s for Grade 1. lol.
* Change my Facebook and Twitter profile picture cause I haven`t changed
   it for ages. lol.
* Spend more time with my close buddies.
* Spend less time in using the computer.
□ Review for the 1st Periodical Exams.
* Avoid from eating oily foods.
* Remove this stubborn zits. :(
* Try Pond`s Flawless White to remove this pimple marks.
□ Less Stress.
□ Don`t be a Drama Queen too much.
* Be patient.
* Be happy.
□ Be happy.
□ Be happy.

As you can see, I only marked one of the "BE HAPPY" thing. Pssh. Cause the first few weeks seem so rough and hard for me. IT SUCKS. IT FUCKING SUCKS. I didn`t even felt happy when I celebrated my sweet sixteen last August 13. I even told myself that, "OMGG why am I still living here? Why did He added another year to my life? I`m fucking tired of everything.". I`m so depressed then. I cry myself to sleep, I feel unpretty, My fucking insecurities are eating me again and even thought of suicide. Geez. my life is a one big mess. :( Overly dramatic, right? But that`s me. :( And I as you can see, I failed to do those 8 things. Fuck my life.

But somehow, I`m trying to be positive though I know it`s hard. Cause right now, I am the only one who can help myself to get over my negative thoughts. If I really want to be happy, it`s up to me. So far, my life is okay.. somehow? I think it`s because of this guy that I like. :"> Oh wait, he`s not the guy that I fell inlove last July who just left me hanging and made me believe that there`s really something between us. Bitter much? lol. Let`s just call him "J". :"> Here`s how we met.

Actually, I already know him since we were in our sophomore years. But during that time, he`s just another guy from me. But thanks to our Physics project and the fact that we have the same teachers! :) Because of that, I got a chance to get to know him somehow. My bestfriend and I planned to do our project in their house. But I didn`t expected that "J" and his friends are also there. I was like, "oh, hi." Nothing special. But as we were doing our project, I just realized he is so sweet and gentleman. lol. Like, the way he approach me when he wants to borrow my ruler and protractor, the way he talks and EVERYTHING. :) OMGG. Okay, sorry but I`m not really good in telling stories like this. Bear with me. :3

And everytime I see him in school, I get the kilig vibes! Haha. And butterflies around my stomach are getting wild. When we passed by each other, my knees get so weak and my heart is pumping in a major major way. lol. Oh, I miss having this feeling. :) But yet, I`m not expecting that he will like a girl like me. Duh. There`s nothing special about me. I won`t expect anything. :')

I hope this September will be the start of a good month. Damn. I wanna be the "real me" again.

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