» Dramas.. @ Thursday, July 15, 2010
Guess what? I`m absent in school today. It`s not because I woke up late or I`m not feeling well. I`m actually okay..
physically. :( I`m absent today cause I feel so freakin` depressed. I don`t even know what to feel anymore. It`s confusing. It`s because of him. I know this is stupid and such a shallow reason but because of this damn stupid love I feel for him, I feel insecure. I feel really down to the point that my self-esteem is down to zero. I feel like I need some space to think. I should get over this feelings for him. He likes me and I like him but it`s just that I`m not ready to love someone cause I`m still in the process of trying to love myself. I need time. But what I`m afraid of is that he can`t wait for me and he might fall for someone else. And I know that would really hurt me so much. always tell myself that if he really loves me, he can wait. But I`m still afraid. I know I shouldn`t expect too much from him cause I`ll be just disappointed in the end. But how can I do that? I always see him around cause he`s my classmate, he smiles at me, always wants us to go home together and other bullshit signs that he`s really into me. I can`t control my heart.. Ugh. :'(
I sometimes wonder what if I didn`t returned ti this school and stayed in KAMS? Would things will be easier? Would things will be less complicated? Would I feel this way? Would I be trapped in a situation like this? I GUESS NOT. But there`s no point of regretting. It`s happening now and I have to face it.
PS: I`m gonna go now to school tomorrow. I don`t know what will happen in the next day. I think I should avoid him now. Ugh. :|
God, please help me..Labels: Blah blah blah, CCC, confusion, depression, Drama, dramas, highschool life, insecurity, KAMS, life, Love, random, Senior Life, Stupid, thought, thoughts, WHATEVER
